The Search for Manhood


Brothers, the sound of the shofar rings loudly, the call for men of God to rise is now. As I look out across the land, I see a great need for the men of God to rise and be heard.

1 Peter 5:6-11 says
   Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. Be of sober spirit, be on alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resists him, firm in your faith, knowing the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His glory in eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To Him be dominion forever and ever. Amen. 

So many today are searching for answers and seeking for the truth about who we are as men of God. We desperately desire to know what we are to do along this journey in life. We long to know why we are here and why we must go through these trials and temptations in life. Why does it feel as though we are fighting battles on every front?

As I was praying about this article, I asked the Lord what He wanted for this first edition. I asked that His Spirit lead me in His direction.

The next day, as I was in my morning prayer, His Spirit directed me to go to the library and wait for Him. The voice of the Lord came to me as I was sitting in the corner. He told me to look around and count how many males were in the library. I looked and counted nine males. The Lord asked how many men do I see? Once again, I looked and responded that I do not know. I saw their outward appearance, but I could not see within their hearts.

My attention was drawn to two young males sitting at a table near me. They were both college-age. I approached one of them and asked if he was studying for a test. He replied, “no.” The boy was preparing for a test to gain work. He was not a student but, he said, his friend went to college. I asked his friend what he was going to school for, and his friend stated that he was in seminary, studying for his PHD, with a major in the New Testament.

One of the men suddenly asked if I was a pastor, for which I answered, yes. He said that he felt in the spirit I was and that he, too, is a pastor from Nigeria, Africa. The three of us began talking about our journey through this life. We discussed how things in today’s society are so different; how males today differ so greatly from those of older generations; how culture has impacted the hearts and minds of males and caused them to remain as overgrown adolescents playing video games all day long. They want the benefits of manhood, while still holding on to boyhood. They want girls to become women at an early age while they themselves hang onto their mommies apron string.

The young man from Nigeria mentioned how, when he first attended church after arriving in the United States, how shocked and confused he was to the fact that it was only a hour and a half long. It was like we only wanted to visit the Lord once a week and not bask in God’s glory, allowing Him to pour out His blessings over us. In Africa, a family arrived in the morning for church and stayed until nightfall, spending the entire day with the Creator. This statement hit, not only my spirit, but the spirit of all three of us. We began to speak of the issues that we suffer with as males. God had directed me to the library to meet these two young men and to hear them speak of their homeland and the issues observed in our own culture. They shared with me the largest issue they see in young men today—males abandoning their families for their own desires in life.

Many young males are growing up in fatherless homes or live in homes with a passive father. Many homes today are led by the wife or mother in both the physical and spiritual sense. Males today have stepped out of their leadership role, giving it to their wives; others have just left the home altogether. If you would ask twenty people the same question (What is a man and what is he designed to be), chances are you would get twenty different answers.

Today most of us do not know what it is to be a true man. We know what we have been taught by society, but the fact is, most of us never received the proper instructions. We never had the proper role model or example of a man. Males today suffer as a result of these very issues, but fail to see the truth of what has taken place. 

Champions are not men who never fail; they are men who never quit. We don’t have to always win. At times, it is only our presence that matters. The presence of the man in the home covers the home; the presence of the husband that honors and covers the wife; and the presence of the father that blesses the children. This is what makes you a champion, not the things of the world. A champion honors God above all things and leads his household in that direction.

You are loved, you are valued, and you are vital to the Kingdom and to your home. To keep men from becoming men of God, the enemy whispers so many things into the ears of males. There is freedom from the chains of bondage. There is a way out of this deception, and a way to be free from depression, anger, and bitterness; a way to be free from the clutches of the enemy within our lives and our homes.

I know because I found it myself and I escaped from these very same things and released the chains of bondage that held me. It starts with knowing who God is and having faith in Him, but it is more than just believing. Belief is not faith until it is acted upon. Faith requires action.

I am so thankful to God that I am no longer the male that I used to be, and I am on my way to becoming the man God wants me to be. Scripture says, I am a new creation in Christ, the old has passed away, and behold the new has come. I must confess: I have not always been happy with my choices in life. My past looks more like a book I would call, “How to Mess Up Your Life in Ten Easy Chapters.”

There have been more bad decisions than good in my life. I got involved with drugs, drinking, and chasing woman, while searching for a purpose. I sought answers in the wrong places. In seeking God, so many things in my life began to change, and I began to understand why my life was so out of control. I got involved with men’s ministries in the church and  partnered with a couple men’s organizations. Through these, I found a lot of good teaching that spoke to me and shed light on a lot of things, but applying these things to my life was a different story. It wasn’t until I started receiving strong biblical truth that things began to happen in my life. I made a decision years ago to devote myself to Christ, to change for the better. By the Grace of God, He began to change me from within. That was when I discovered a lot of things about myself :

  • Bad upbringing.
  • I was taught religion and not faith in Christ.
  • Public education led me in the wrong direction.
  • A man is not one who fights and drinks.
  • A man does not chase women for pleasure
  • A man is not physically abusive.
  • Drinking and pornography are not manly.
  • Conquering a woman is not true manhood.
  • God loves me no matter how bad I have messed up in my life.
  • I can find true happiness through Christ.
  • I need to seek a virtuous woman that loves the Lord.
  • I can be happy with one woman.
  • I desire to be a real man and know the true meaning of manhood.

By also giving a Christian brother the authority to hold us accountable, it causes us to stay focused on that narrow road. I personally know a group of young men that came to know the Lord. They stopped living worldly lives, stopped doing the things they once did, and began to seek God and bless many others with their transformations. Marriages were both restored and blessed, as well as family relations, too.

Luke 22:41 says

   And Jesus withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and He knelt down and began to pray saying, Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me, yet not My will but Your will done.

We are to follow Jesus’ example as a man. A man must kneel before God before he can truly stand before other men.


One Reply to “The Search for Manhood”

  1. Personally,I have great respect for men that humble themselves to the point of honest accountability to another man that has walked their similar road, sin. Also, it takes a humble, repentant, honest with himself and God man to become worthy and useful for leading others in accountability successfully. It’s a lot of work! I know, I’ve witnessed my husband over the last 19 years in his walk and transformation. Praise God He designed the process to be life giving because in the midst its exhausting lol, but beyond well worth it, and I wouldn’t have missed it for the world!

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